A single by Seraphino Aurelius Belladonna
Boomstick
Seraphino encounters a weapon that makes thunder without a spell, envies its effortless power, and demands his twenty years of archery practice back. His admiration survives the noise rather better than it survives the price.
- Release date
The matter at hand
What the song concerns
A knight arrives without a sword, carrying instead a curious staff whose thunder requires neither runes nor magic. Seraphino moves from alarm to professional envy: a weapon mastered without his decades of practice seems an outrageous advantage, and his sword’s failure to make any comparable noise only compounds the insult.
Behind the composition
About the recording
The song follows that collision between Renaissance expectations and modern technology through Seraphino’s own account. He interprets machinery as witchery, preserves his dignity by declaring himself the guardian of the cheese, and finally discovers that the most formidable thing about the weapon is its price. His retreat to the lute is both an artistic judgment and a financial necessity.
The words, as sung
Lyrics
I, Seraphino, spied a knight
Who bore no sword unto the fight
He held a staff of curious make
One thunderclap did make me quake
No runes! No spell! No magic light
Yet thunder roared in broad daylight
My bow took twenty years to learn
I want those twenty in return
O boomstick, boomstick, wondrous thing
Thou make’st mine ears go ring-a-ding
A dragon’s cough! A pocket storm
Behold, destruction’s modern form
My trusty sword seems rather tame
It hath no thunder to its name
I waved it thrice above my head
It made no sound. I sulked instead
I asked, “What spirit dwells within
What tiny fiend creates this din
The merchant sighed, “Technology
“A lengthy word for witchery
I bowed before its fearsome might
And praised its craftsmanship outright
Then saw the price upon the wall
“My lute still works. Good day to all
O boomstick, boomstick, what a roar
My courage fled straight out the door
I stood as bold as any lord
Then ducked beneath the serving board
The knight said, “There’s no shame in fright
I said, “I’m guarding cheese tonight
“Come forth!” he cried. I answered, “Nay
This brie needs guarding till the day
O boomstick, boomstick, wondrous thing
Thou cost more than my lord the king
A dragon’s cough! A pocket storm
I’ll sing thy praise in ballad form
Though wondrous be thy thunderous art
Thy price hath pierced my tender heart
I came to buy the thunder’s might
And left with cheese on credit... Good night