A song by Seraphino Aurelius Belladonna
Mine Heart Goeth Boom Boom
Seraphino submits to the machinery of commercial pop and discovers that market research has a rhythm of its own.
- From the album
- As It Ought to Be
- Album sequence
- Track 14 of 14
- First released
- Running time
- 4:44
The matter at hand
What the song concerns
The album closes by placing Seraphino inside a polished synth-pop apparatus built from hooks, repetition, production notes, and the cheerful insistence that every feeling be made immediately marketable. His ornate voice is compressed into the gloriously vacant phrase ‘boom boom.’
Because the production is genuinely infectious, the parody implicates its own listener. Seraphino may object to every compromise, but the chorus works—leaving artistic dignity and commercial instinct to share an uncomfortably successful dance floor.
In his own estimation
Seraphino, upon its composition
I was informed that the public desired immediacy, repetition, and a phrase requiring no dangerous encounter with thought. My objections were recorded, disregarded, and apparently judged insufficiently rhythmic. Thus was ‘boom boom’ introduced into a catalogue formerly believed to possess defenses.
The humiliating detail is that the device succeedeth. The pulse is bright, the hook adhereth, and persons who ignored my finest arguments remember these two monosyllables without effort. This composition hath wounded me spiritually. I include it because an artist must tell the truth, even when the truth hath synthesizers.
“This composition hath wounded me spiritually.”
The complete text
Lyrics
Whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mine producer hath assured me that this shall become a commercial success
I already find myself ashamed
I saw thee standing by the light
Mine heart awakened at the sight
The stars aligned above our heads
Or so the marketing man hath said
Thy smile did steal mine every thought
Though this metaphor hath long been bought
I once composed of kings and fate
Now I describe attractive traits
Every beat doth call thy name
Apparently that is the game
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Boom boom all for thee
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Come and dance with me
Boom boom every night
Boom boom every day
I should write of greater things
Yet here I sing away
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Whoa oh oh
Good heavens...
The chorus hath concluded and we have conveyed nothing whatsoever
Thou art the moon
Thou art the sun
Thou art... whichever object test audiences preferred
Mine soul doth yearn for deeper verse
Instead they asked I write this curse
The producer smiled and nodded twice
Declaring "Simple songs sell rather nice"
Repeat the hook
Increase the gain
Remove all thoughts
Repeat again
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Boom boom all for thee
Mine heart goeth boom boom
This physically paineth me
Boom boom every night
Boom boom every day
If this charteth in the realm
I know not what to say
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Whoa oh oh
I penned of emperors
I sang of ancient Rome
I mourned great Constantinople
Now this...
"Needs another hook."
Another?
"And perhaps more boom booms."
...I shall require confession after this recording
Whoa oh oh
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Boom boom all for thee
Mine publisher grows wealthier
Whilst poorer groweth me
Boom boom every night
Boom boom every day
Art hath been exchanged for hooks
Hip hip hooray
Mine heart goeth boom boom
Boom boom
Boom boom
Boom boom
Whoa oh oh
I pray thee...
Purchase instead one of mine albums wherein actual thoughts were permitted
This composition hath wounded me spiritually
Good day
Further evidence