I Did Not Read the Terms

A warlock repeatedly signs agreements for forbidden power while assuring himself that every alarming clause must apply to someone less clever. He never intends to surrender himself to darkness; he simply assumes that confidence will exempt him from consequences.

Neither party is presented as a caricature. The patron honors a legitimate agreement, while the warlock slowly discovers that every cost, warning, and eventual forfeiture had been disclosed from the beginning. The bargain’s true horror is therefore administrative rather than mysterious: nothing was hidden except by the man who declined to look.

Malice receiveth far too much credit for the world’s wickedness. Confidence is responsible for a considerably larger share. The warlock of this song never intended to surrender himself to darkness; he merely believed himself too clever to suffer the consequences that befall lesser folk. Every signature was accompanied by another reassuring thought: “Surely this clause concerneth someone else.”

The arrangement dependeth upon treating the bargain as perfectly ordinary business. The patron is neither outrageously evil nor the warlock pitiably foolish. They are simply two parties to a legitimate agreement, one of whom possessed the admirable habit of reading contracts from beginning to end. By the final chorus the listener discovereth that the true cost of forbidden power is not the bargain itself, but the quiet realization that every warning had been plainly written from the very beginning.